Ode to DS

Time flies when you’re busy! Shaiza! It’s been a while since I posted.

Quick update:

I graduated from college (yippee).

I’m still in Provo, but looking to move elsewhere at the end of the month.

I’m still gay (actually, that’s debatable – I’ll explain later).

Sometimes I hate how I use this site as a confession forum, but it’s so nice to get things off my chest. First, I have been pretty wrapped up in the porn as of late. Disappointing, but I’m past feeling. I don’t really care anymore.

Second, I know this guy (whom I just met a month or so ago), and I really wish he were gay. I’d date him in a heartbeat. His initials are DS. Sometimes, I think there’s a chance that he might be gay, but he’s really spiritual and into the church (of course, being spiritual and being gay are not mutually exclusive, but his love for the church makes me think he’s not into guys). He just got off his mission six months ago. He’s very attractive, but also just an amazing person.

A few gay signs I’ve noticed: (1) he doesn’t really talk about girls he’s interested in, (2) he’s a great dresser, (3) he seemed concerned when I said I’d be leaving the state at the end of the month, (4) he wants to go on a road trip with me (but who doesn’t), (5) one of his good friends is a closeted homosexual (that’s my opinion), and (6) he has quite a few girl best friends (like me).

I realize a lot of those signs are just stereotypical bullcrap; nonetheless, I cling to them. :) Anyhow, those are my most recent homo feelings.

As for the comment earlier that it’s debatable whether I’m gay or not, let me explain. I read the following paragraph in a book review published by FAIR. The review is for a book called “In Quiet Desperation” about two homosexual Mormon guys. This is the paragraph I was intrigued by:

“… the term "gay" often indicates a "homosexual identity." Gay signifies a label, most often a social and political label based upon an individual's attractions as demonstrated by their sexual behaviors. Emotional affiliation and bonding with same-sex peers most notably seen in the closeness of transescent [sic] peer groups (where boys band together) is normal and healthy. It is when such attractions are eroticized that they become problematic for many individuals.”

I guess I’m not technically gay then. I’m just “homosexually oriented” according to their definition. Interesting.

Anyhow, I hope you all are doing well. Drop a comment sometime to say, “Hello.”