Saturday, August 13, 2005

Ode to DS

Time flies when you’re busy! Shaiza! It’s been a while since I posted.

Quick update:

I graduated from college (yippee).

I’m still in Provo, but looking to move elsewhere at the end of the month.

I’m still gay (actually, that’s debatable – I’ll explain later).

Sometimes I hate how I use this site as a confession forum, but it’s so nice to get things off my chest. First, I have been pretty wrapped up in the porn as of late. Disappointing, but I’m past feeling. I don’t really care anymore.

Second, I know this guy (whom I just met a month or so ago), and I really wish he were gay. I’d date him in a heartbeat. His initials are DS. Sometimes, I think there’s a chance that he might be gay, but he’s really spiritual and into the church (of course, being spiritual and being gay are not mutually exclusive, but his love for the church makes me think he’s not into guys). He just got off his mission six months ago. He’s very attractive, but also just an amazing person.

A few gay signs I’ve noticed: (1) he doesn’t really talk about girls he’s interested in, (2) he’s a great dresser, (3) he seemed concerned when I said I’d be leaving the state at the end of the month, (4) he wants to go on a road trip with me (but who doesn’t), (5) one of his good friends is a closeted homosexual (that’s my opinion), and (6) he has quite a few girl best friends (like me).

I realize a lot of those signs are just stereotypical bullcrap; nonetheless, I cling to them. :) Anyhow, those are my most recent homo feelings.

As for the comment earlier that it’s debatable whether I’m gay or not, let me explain. I read the following paragraph in a book review published by FAIR. The review is for a book called “In Quiet Desperation” about two homosexual Mormon guys. This is the paragraph I was intrigued by:

“… the term "gay" often indicates a "homosexual identity." Gay signifies a label, most often a social and political label based upon an individual's attractions as demonstrated by their sexual behaviors. Emotional affiliation and bonding with same-sex peers most notably seen in the closeness of transescent [sic] peer groups (where boys band together) is normal and healthy. It is when such attractions are eroticized that they become problematic for many individuals.”

I guess I’m not technically gay then. I’m just “homosexually oriented” according to their definition. Interesting.

Anyhow, I hope you all are doing well. Drop a comment sometime to say, “Hello.”


Blogger Patmos said...


Well let me 1st begin with a big ole Texas congrats on the college thing. I know many that just don't stick with it and either drop out or flunk out. Way to Go Man!!!

2nd I just want to say hi. It has been a long timse sense I have said anything to you or wrote anything to you. I felt like I was doing more harm on the forum than good, and I did not want others to become the story.

3rd I just want to say again... Way to go in everything. Your passion to discover who you are and where you are going and where you want to end up. The courage to say no to tempting situations, the courage to allow yourself to be open and pulled in different directions, you are truly a strong individual and wherever you end up or however you end up, you will accomplish much.

I close with this, now that you have graduated college treasure these words I leave you with... "You are no more wise enough than you are holy enough."

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Darcy Schack said...

Ya congratulations on graduating!!! That is a remarkable achievement..... As far as the "signs" go I have absolutely learned to trust my gaydar, it is usually correct.

12:25 AM  
Blogger Randy said...

Congats on the graduation!

Hell's bells, go on the road trip with your new friend. You can get a better feel for his sexuality, and you may get lucky. On the other hand, you may end up having a good, non-sexual time with someone whose company you enjoy. Either way, it's all good.

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Let me add my congrats as well!!

I know that some of us have been a bit hard on you, but I really hope the best for you and your future.

5:34 PM  

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