Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The Brighter Side

All too often I focus on the adverse effects of homosexuality in my life. So, today I’ve decided to write about the blessings or positive aspects associated with same-sex attraction.

For those of you struggling with homosexuality, you might disagree. Let me know. I’d love to hear where I got things wrong.

I’ll start with the greatest blessing: understanding. Because I am dealing with same-sex attraction, I feel like I am a more tolerant, accepting and loving person. I’m not perfect, but I feel like this struggle has broadened my perspective and helped me understand what gay men go through and feel. I come from a very conservative family where homosexuality is abhorred. If I did not deal with these issues, I would most likely be a very homophobic and intolerant person. I’m so glad that I can see both sides of the homosexuality debate. What a blessing.

I think this struggle has also helped me be a more accepting person with regard to other areas of life – i.e., different religions, other cultures, etc.

Another blessing has been a greater respect for women. You may disagree with this view. I believe that because I am not attracted to women, I don’t objectify them in my mind. I feel like I have a greater respect for who they are and what they can do and have done in this world. I always joke with one female friend of her that I am the biggest feminist at BYU. I’m obviously not the biggest feminist on campus, but I do believe women are often treated unfairly and deserve better in this world. That’s a very general statement, but I don’t have time to get into my feminist attitudes.

Another blessing is my abstinence from sex. I’m certain that if I were heterosexual, I would have gotten into trouble with fornication. I’m glad that my homosexual desires have prevented me from being sexually active on either side of the fence.

I also like that I am unique. I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I am an individual and very different from my siblings. All of my brothers and sisters fit into a nice mold, but I broke that mold completely. Though they don’t know I’m homosexual, that is just one more thing that makes me more of an original person.

Anyhow, I must go study. I will keep thinking of the positive aspects to homosexuality. Feel free to add your thoughts as well…


Anonymous JL said...

You are awesome. How incredibly brave of you to go to BYU and to be honest with yourself about your feelings. And to still be able to have positive thoughts too! If you can keep that up then no matter what happens with your sexuality, you'll be allright. Hang in there.

1:54 PM  

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