Out To One

I came out to a friend this Thursday. I hadn’t even planned on coming out to her, but it just happened. First, you have to know that she and I go way back. We became best friends during our freshman year of college (okay, so we only go back six years – seems like a long time to me). It’s kind of funny because she was the HOT girl in the ward, and everyone wanted to date her, but I just wanted to be her BF. Ha! But I didn’t want to be her best friend just because she is beautiful. In fact, the most amazing thing about her is she’s more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside. (I’m not just saying that because she is reading this – ha!) We really had great times during our freshman year.

Anyhow, we’ve remained close friends since 1999, but I’ve never told her I’m gay. To be honest, I had a feeling that she knew about my sexuality. First, she is a therapist, and she works with a lot of gay men. Second, she’s married – to an amazing guy – and has had a child, yet we still call each other to say hello. Obviously, she can have heterosexual friends as a married person, but I don’t have any other married female friends who stay in touch with me. Third, she never asks me about my relationships with girls – a very kind gesture, indeed.

The other night we were talking, and she told me how she and her husband have decided to distance themselves from the church – i.e., stop going. She then shared some of their reasons for deciding to stop going to church. Because she had just shared a very personal detail from her life, it just felt natural for me to tell her about my situation. I said, “Can I drop a bombshell on you? I’m gay.” She said, in a very nonchalant sort of way, “I know.” It was actually pretty funny/refreshing.

She is the first close friend I’ve told about my sexuality. Though I was nervous when I first told her, I have felt completely at ease talking to her about it. She understands completely, and she isn’t bothered by it at all. In fact, I just learned tonight that she and her husband had talked about how I was probably gay. Ha! I guess I don’t keep secrets too well – that, or she knows me way too well.

If all my friends reacted like this friend of mine did, I’d come out in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, not all friends are like my good friend from freshman year. She has been trained to deal with sensitive, personal information. She deals with this type of information daily. If I had suspected she might treat me differently because I’m gay, I wouldn’t have told her. I’m so glad she’s a true friend.

The best part is that she just wants me to be happy. I told her I haven’t made a decision regarding my future – whether to live as a good Mormon or live as a homosexual. Though she personally doesn’t agree with the church’s stance toward homosexuality, she doesn’t care which path I choose – so long as I’m happy. I love her to death. If only everyone was like my good friend. :)