Monday, January 16, 2006

Can you tell me which way to the gym?

It's late and I'm tired, but I wanted to give a quick run down on the date from Friday night. It was nice. We went to an old part of town and ate dinner, and then we walked around for a bit. Our conversation was friendly, and the night was nice. Over dinner, he asked what I wanted from myspace, and I told him that I was just looking for friends and that I am too new to the gay scene to jump in too quickly. He asked if I planned to have a relationship at some point, and I answered yes, but not any time soon.

Nonetheless, he still calls. Maybe he understands that I only want friendship, but then why does he keep asking to go places with just me and him. It's fine, but I'd rather go in a group. More the merrier, right? Unless I'm interested in the guy. ;)

So, I caught myself turning into a meat head. Apparently when I am with a more effeminate guy, I turn into an uber-masculine dude. This guy isn't super femmie, but he is less than masculine. I suppose I felt like I had to compensate for his slight gayness because I noticed I was trying to sit, act, and talk very manly like throughout the night. I was cracking myself up because I'd catch myself trying to be this super stud. Ha! I'm retarded.

I also noticed that I was VERY aware of EVERYONE! I couldn't help but think, "Everyone is watching us. They know we're gay. They know were on a date. They're judging us. They hate us. They hate homosexuals. I think they're going to jump us or make rude comments. Quick, make a cat call after a girl!" It really was an uncomfortable feeling. It's stupid because I've gone out to eat with straight friends, and I've NEVER felt that way! Isn't it weird how your perception of a situation can totally change depending on just a few little variables? I recognize, however, that my discomfort has everything to do with my newness to the gay dating world. Maybe I'll get used to it. I can't make any promises, but it makes sense that it would feel more natural over time.

A couple of HOT dudes from myspace have messaged me. I nearly ripped off my shirt and rubbed my naked chest all over the computer screen because I was so excited. Unfortunately, I can't message those guys back. They are too good-looking. If I were to go out with them, they'd be able to get anything they wanted from me. "You want my virginity, wallet and shoes? In what order?"

Nonetheless, I was very flattered by the mere fact that they would message me. Good thing I put pictures of other people on my profile. That has really paid off for me. Well, I'd better go work out (that's what uber-studs do). But first, I'm going to sleep.


Anonymous Foxx said...

From Wikipedia:
"More recently, the clinical use of the term [paranoia] has been used to describe delusions where the affected person believes they are being persecuted. Specifically, they have been defined as containing two central elements:

1. The individual thinks that harm is occurring, or is going to occur, to him or her.
2. The individual thinks that the persecutor has the intention to cause harm."

Most people have better things to do than to go to restaurants to find people they can persecute. I guess if you're the kind of person who goes to public places to make fun of the left handed or ambidextrous people, then you have every right to believe that they are doing the same thing to you. ;)

And even if they are, they don't matter. Enjoy the moment. What's it to you if they go home and tell their friends they saw two gay guys on a date in...where do you live again? Their opinions be damned. If they get all up in your face, that's another story entirely, but I doubt HIGHLY that will happen. Maybe years ago, but not today.

8:51 AM  
Blogger Dave Walter said...

Foxx's comments are right on the mark! But in the interest of full disclosure, I need to admit that I still haven't been able to fully get over the discomfort of strangers looking at me and my spouse and thinking, "They're gay."

Here I am, someone who has been on national television as an Official Gay Person, yet I feel somewhat uncomfortable shopping for a Christmas tree with my spouse. It's just a little uncomfortable, but it's still there. I have friends, though, who are not in the least bit self-conscious in such situations, which is as it should be.

"Maybe he understands that I only want friendship, but then why does he keep asking to go places with just me and him."

Cause he likes you, dude! He enjoys your company. Hanging out just with one friend is nice. Even though I'm married, I get together with a friend whom I very close to -- without my husband tagging along.

But yeah, you're right, the more the merrier. It's more fun doing things with a group of gay friends.

If your new friend gets too clingy, DON'T do what I did when I was younger: I changed my phone number to a new, unpublished number. (That was during pre-e-mail days. I know what you're thinking: Wow! Did they even have electricity back then?)

One approach you could take is to tell the guy that you love going out with a group of people, and that the two of you should socialize in group situations, as well as in situations involving just the two of you. Maybe: "Hey, let's you and I go to a movie on Friday and then get together with the other guys on Saturday."

"Good thing I put pictures of other people on my profile. That has really paid off for me."

!!!!!! (You know what I'm thinking....)

4:40 PM  
Blogger onDfence said...

I also noticed that I was VERY aware of EVERYONE! I couldn't help but think, "Everyone is watching us. They know we're gay.
Haha I had pretty much those same thoughts when I was with that gay guy in Paris. Even though everyone around us were strangers, I still didn't like the idea of being thought off as a homosexual.

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill here:
Living in the Bible belt, I can appreciate feeling a tad paranoid. As you get more comfrotable in your own skin, you will be more comfortable in public places where someone might assume you are gay. (BTW, the gym? Now I KNOW you're gay. ;-))

4:30 PM  
Blogger David said...

What do you mean you put pictures of other people on your myspace profile?

9:27 AM  

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