The Gayest Weekend Ever

Last weekend was easily the gayest weekend of my life! Holy crap! I had a great time.

I spent the weekend visiting a good friend from college. She knows I'm gay, and so naturally she planned the amazing gay weekend.

Here's a quick rundown of our gay activities (I've omitted the non-homo things):

Thursday: Arrived at their house in the evening. Discussed being gay and Mormon with my friend and her husband until 3 a.m. (I'm friends with the husband, too, but for clarity, I will refer to him as my friend's husband.)

Friday: Worked out, went to the mall. Invited two gay guys over and watched Latter Days. Then went to Charlie's (a gay cowboy bar with country dancing).

Saturday: Went to my friend's niece's birthday party. Ate out with the same two gay guys afterward. Saw Brokeback Mountain.

Sunday: Went out with three gay guys to dinner. Went to BS (a gay bar) for karaoke.

All in all, the weekend was great. I had a lot of fun hanging out with the two gay guys and my married friends. The gay guys were both extremely nice and fun to be around. I can't say that I felt completely like myself around them, but I guess I can't expect to feel completely comfortable and normal at this point. I just hate how my funniness seems to vanish in the presence of homosexuals. Weird.

(For the curious at heart, no I didn't hook up with any gay guys.)

Charlie's was likely the best part of the weekend! I left with the biggest ego ever! I was so flattered by all the looks from guys. I realize that they weren't looking at me just because I'm hot (even though I'd like to think that), but more likely because I am a man in a gay bar. They would probably check out any mammal with testicles. I know I check out a lot of guys I'm not interested in. :)

I was flattered though when the hottest guy in the room (in my opinion) and I played a little staring game. Very fun. Unfortunately, I chickened out and stopped looking in his direction. It was just too real for me. I mean, that guy could have come over and spoken with me at any point. I couldn't have let that happen. Ha!

Movie reviews: Latter Days is cheesy. Brokeback Mountain was extremely well done and moving. I personally didn't get into Latter Days at all. The acting, the writing, everything was just too lame. I understand that it probably means a lot to some gay Mormons, but all it meant to me was nap time. Brokeback Mountain, on the other hand, was great! I loved it. I thought it was easily one of the saddest movies of my life, but I loved how it portrayed the difficulties of being homosexual. I hope it wins the Oscar. By the way, I didn't think I was going to like it.

The most awkward part of the whole weekend was the birthday party for me. My friend's niece was celebrating her 3^rd year of life, and my friend had told her in-laws beforehand that I am gay (because they were wondering why some random male college friend was coming to visit her). That was the first time that I had been in a room of people (many of whom were Mormon) who knew about my sexuality – people whom I hadn't told myself. They were extremely nice, and I had no reason to feel uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable around straight people who know about my sexuality. I guess I should just start getting used to it. It'll probably happen more often as time passes.

In any case, the weekend was a blast. I had a great time visiting with good friends. I love them both to death, and I hope they know that! Love you both!

When I got home from my trip, my sister-in-law confronted me on some of the difficult thoughts she'd been having over the past few days. She said she's certain I will distance myself from the family if I decide to live as a gay person (have boyfriends, etc.). She's probably right because both my siblings have told me that they don't want any gay boyfriends of mine coming to family functions with me. I understand that, and I plan to respect their wishes. As such, I probably wouldn't spend as much time with family. I don't know.

My sister-in-law doesn't want me to marry a woman (because of the inherent problems associated with gay/straight relationships) or be with a man (because of the religious conflicts), so she believes a life of celibacy would be the best alternative for me. She said, "You can do so much good in this world without sex." Hmm. I just don't know if I have that sort of will power. It's good to know her perspective though. I think my other brother and his wife would like to see me marry a woman.

Lastly, I apologize to anyone who was offended by the "Perspective One" link on the right-hand side of the screen. I know that article's perspective is very painful for many people. Nonetheless, it certainly is a perspective, and I don't think it's healthy to ignore it. In fact, I think it raises many relevant questions – e.g., Why should sexuality trump religious beliefs? You're all welcome to express your concerns with Dr. Byrd's viewpoints, but I don't think any of us should fear ideas. We must simply confront them if we disagree with them. I don't agree with all of the stuff that was written, but I do agree with some of it. The link is relevant for all gay Mormons, in my opinion. It also shows how many Mormons approach the issue. If nothing else, it gives people an insight into the issues facing gay Mormons.

Okay, hit me with the comments. I can feel them coming. :)