Friday, May 26, 2006

I'm going to live!

I really liked all the comments on the last post. Very entertaining. Thanks for posting them.

You’ll all be relieved to know that I am recovering well from my horrible disease. I finally caved and went to the doctor last Saturday to get an antibiotic. Besides getting the antibiotic, the doctor visit was worthless (that was my second visit ever to the doctor’s office – I’ve lived a fairly healthy life).

Anyhow, my visit confirmed my belief that going to the doctor for illnesses other than cancer is stupid. Let’s be honest ... I only went because I feared the lumps in my neck were cancerous. (My hypocondriacness got the best of me.) After a few short questions and a couple pokes, the doctor sent me on my way with some pennicillin. She didn't even really pay attention to the lumps in my neck. For all she knows, I could have alien babies growing in my neck!

Enough of the doctor soapbox. < / soapbox >

So I did go to the Web site as one reader suggested. The tone is very protestant/baptisty. The whole site really rips the Mormon doctrine of salvation and forgiveness. Most readers probably know this already, but Mormons believe salvation requires both works and grace. How dare the Mormons suggest salvation is not simply a matter of saying, “I accept Jesus”! Ha!

No, I appreciate that Web site's perspective on religion. I think all of us have a lot to learn about grace and Christ’s atonement.

That said, I doubt I could ever be Christian if I’m not Mormon. I just have a hard time with a lot of mainstream Christianity – likely a result of growing up in a very structured church. I would just have to find spirituality through other means. I would have a hard time attending any other organized religion.

Isn’t it interesting how very few openly gay men participate in organized religion? Maybe that’s not true. That’s just how it seems to me. In fact, my friend, Amber, was telling me how she thinks it’s so odd that I’m religious and gay (i.e., that I still go to church and don’t have a problem with Christianity). She said all of her gay friends have a lot of resentment toward religion. I can understand their concerns.

Anyhow ... I’ve been hanging out with Mormons a lot lately. I really love Mormons. I just wish I had a chance with some of the guys. Ha! My roommate asked me the other day why I hang out with Mormons when I know I won’t be able to hook up with any of them (he knows I’m gay).

I think it’s pretty simple: I have a good time when I’m with Mormons. Sure, I might not have a chance at a relationship with any dudes, but I do have a very good chance of making friends for life. It’s time well spent, in my opinion.


Anonymous Orson said...

I think you spend time with Mormons and seek to make friends among Mormons because it is the easiest path t take; you grew up in that tradition (as I did) and it's comfortable. But I don't really think it's healthy, or time well spent. I don't think it's the best place to make "friends for life." In fact, i think it is self-defeating (and suspect that years from now, you will reach the same conclusion). Why? Because of all the people you could be meeting, Mormons are more likely than others to not acceot you, to disapprove of your homosexuality, to invaidate you as a person, and try to control you. As your consciousness gets raised, you'll realize more clearly just how controlling the church is. I thought it was sad--and extremely revealing--that when the doctor you were dating wanted to go to church with you, you turned him down. Your prioorities are exactly backwards. You were more interested in having your Mormon "friends" at church think you're something you're not (heterosexual) than in being with a guy who likes you, and accepts you for who you really were. You will find some Mormons who will be friendly towards you regardless of your sexual orientation; but you will find many more who will convey their disapproval. If you went to a gay church, or to a church that was accepting of gays, you'd find it easier to make REAl friends for life, people whose friendship would not be contingent upon your concealing your homosexuality. So mamy Mormons are indoctrinated into anmti-gay bigotry. Look at the older Mormons in your church; how mny of them have close openly gay friends their own age? They do not project acceptance, and do not cultivate such friendships. If they view gays as outsiders and sinners, they are not great candidates for lifelong friendships with you, a gay man. There are choices you need to make, GM--and eventually, if you wanmt REAL friends who know you honestly, and with whom you do not have to pretend, you have to invest time in making friendships outside the church.

12:58 AM  
Blogger Gay Mormon said...

Orson, I agree that I need to work harder to make friends outside the church. My problem is that it's just so easy to make Mormon friends. The whole structure of the church just lends itself to being social. Whereas, if I want to be social with non-Mormons, I have to find other organizations (who knows where or what) or go to bars/clubs. If it were just a little easier to make gay friends ... that would be great.

Anyhow, thanks for your post. I must admit that I disagree with your assessment on one point. I think many Mormons are very loving and accepting of other people. I know some are not, but I think all the people I'm friends with in the church would still treat me well and be my friend, even if they knew I'm gay. I think the church membership has changed a lot with respect to homosexuality. More and more people are realizing that it's real and that homosexuals are great people. The progress is slow, but it's happening.

Thanks, again, for the comment.

3:57 AM  
Blogger -L- said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:20 AM  
Blogger Dave Walter said...

Anyhow, my visit confirmed my belief that going to the doctor for illnesses other than cancer is stupid.

I'm glad you have that attitude. We Baby Boomers will in the near future be hogging all the health-care resources, so there won't be room for you young ones in the waiting room.

3:11 AM  

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