Last Emails
Thanks for all your comments on the last post. I really appreciate all the kind things people said.
As an update, I did receive one more email from my dad. I thought this one was much more loving and kind. In fact, it even tugged at the heart strings a bit; whereas, the prior emails elicited other responses. ;)
In any case, I think (hope) that he and I are done with these intense emails. Here are the final two written conversations:
GM,
I didn't respond in kind, to your last email. It was well written in explanation of your lifestyle, but I think you brushed aside many truths taught by God to His children. It also rationalized away some basic truths about God and the eternal laws of justice which He must follow as well as we must learn to face and obey, if we are to inherit the glory of the highest kingdom.
I seldom have enough time in our schedule to prepare a complete explanation or answer to your assumptions, so I will, instead, give short bursts of truth or bits of wisdom.
Thank you for 'absolving' us, your parents of any responsibility for your current behaviors. That was generous of you. However, you as a son cannot release us from a responsibility which you did not bestow on us. Heavenly Father assigned you to our house, and only He can free us from the concern and worry of children who do not live His laws.
There is a 'grief that can't be spoken and a pain that goes on and on' for parents of children who choose to sell their birthright for the pleasures of the flesh. Having traveled life's road a little farther along, we have seen the end results of serious sin--and it is not well or good for anyone. "The loss of a soul is a very real and a very great loss to God. He is pained and grieved thereby, for it is His will that not one should perish." (Jesus the Christ, James E. Talmage p. 461) The loss of one's child to wicked living is no less painful for mortal parents.
We do remember the sweet young son we knew as he grew from infant to child, to adolescent, teen, then to manhood. We are aware of your great talents for doing good--which you showed to the family, our community, to those [on your mission]--be it members, elders or mission president and wife. You were like a young David, so full of goodness and with unlimited potential for working righteousness in the Lord's Church and Kingdom on the earth.
We regret, as will all who knew you, your fall from grace; it will be very painful for them too. The heavens weep as well.
As parents, we love all your good qualities and look forward to seeing you and welcoming you home. But, there is no happiness in wickedness, only moments of pleasure that will eventually turn bitter in your mouth.
Love,
Dad
---
My response:
Dad,
As always, I appreciate your love and concern. I believe we understand each other's position, and I'm confident we can maintain a positive relationship despite our differing beliefs.
Love Always,
GM
---
This exchange happened mid last week. I haven't heard back from him.
As an update, I did receive one more email from my dad. I thought this one was much more loving and kind. In fact, it even tugged at the heart strings a bit; whereas, the prior emails elicited other responses. ;)
In any case, I think (hope) that he and I are done with these intense emails. Here are the final two written conversations:
GM,
I didn't respond in kind, to your last email. It was well written in explanation of your lifestyle, but I think you brushed aside many truths taught by God to His children. It also rationalized away some basic truths about God and the eternal laws of justice which He must follow as well as we must learn to face and obey, if we are to inherit the glory of the highest kingdom.
I seldom have enough time in our schedule to prepare a complete explanation or answer to your assumptions, so I will, instead, give short bursts of truth or bits of wisdom.
Thank you for 'absolving' us, your parents of any responsibility for your current behaviors. That was generous of you. However, you as a son cannot release us from a responsibility which you did not bestow on us. Heavenly Father assigned you to our house, and only He can free us from the concern and worry of children who do not live His laws.
There is a 'grief that can't be spoken and a pain that goes on and on' for parents of children who choose to sell their birthright for the pleasures of the flesh. Having traveled life's road a little farther along, we have seen the end results of serious sin--and it is not well or good for anyone. "The loss of a soul is a very real and a very great loss to God. He is pained and grieved thereby, for it is His will that not one should perish." (Jesus the Christ, James E. Talmage p. 461) The loss of one's child to wicked living is no less painful for mortal parents.
We do remember the sweet young son we knew as he grew from infant to child, to adolescent, teen, then to manhood. We are aware of your great talents for doing good--which you showed to the family, our community, to those [on your mission]--be it members, elders or mission president and wife. You were like a young David, so full of goodness and with unlimited potential for working righteousness in the Lord's Church and Kingdom on the earth.
We regret, as will all who knew you, your fall from grace; it will be very painful for them too. The heavens weep as well.
As parents, we love all your good qualities and look forward to seeing you and welcoming you home. But, there is no happiness in wickedness, only moments of pleasure that will eventually turn bitter in your mouth.
Love,
Dad
---
My response:
Dad,
As always, I appreciate your love and concern. I believe we understand each other's position, and I'm confident we can maintain a positive relationship despite our differing beliefs.
Love Always,
GM
---
This exchange happened mid last week. I haven't heard back from him.
posted by Gay Mormon at 5:07 PM
6 Comments:
That seems cordial enough.
I think you handled that beautifully, and from everything I learned in the Mormon church, exactly as God and Christ taught us to handle other people. There was no judgement in your words to your parents, just unconditional love. Many people wouldn't have been able to respond with such delicacy and compassion in the face of those emails.
It's clear that your parents taught you well, but I think they could stand to learn a thing or two from you as well. I hope your parents are able to learn and grow from this experience because, clearly, you have. Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, they're going to have to get off of their high horses in order to do so.
It's odd that he refers to you in the past tense.
BTW, I liked your response a lot.
The self control exercised in your brief but powerful response to his email is commendable. I envy that maturity.
Just remember that your Dad is doing this out of love, not hate. I haven't read all of your posts, but what are his expectations? Does he want you to become straight, or try a mixed-orientation marriage or live a celibate life? I'll try and take some time to read your other posts to see if the answers are there.
I give you a lot of respect for even being able to come out the way you have. I was raised in a LDS family and I am too affraid to let them know. They all have their own doubts and opinions on my sexuality. I know that when I tell them it will not go well in the least. I see where your family is coming from and I wish that is how mine would react. Thank you for having a voice when so many of us are not able to.
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