Comfy?

I talked to my boss today about my sexuality. She was, as predicted, very cool with it. I went into her office, and she brought up my hickey (which is still very embarrassing). Yes, I had a fricking hickey from my night with Folsom boy. I have no clue how it got there. He honestly did not do any crazy kissing or sucking or whatnot on my neck, so it’s a mystery to me. Maybe in my sleep? ;) Kidding.

Anyhow, I just told my boss the hickey story, speaking as if she knew I was gay. It was an excellent approach because she knew I was gay, so it minimized the awkwardness. I’m pretty lucky because we ended up bonding during our convo. I’m so glad my boss is a woman, though. It would be different to talk to a male boss about my sexuality.

Speaking of telling men ... I also talked to a co-worker (via IM) about my sexuality. He also knew. Damn it! I’m sick of people knowing I’m gay long before I talk to them about it. Can’t just one of them act surprised! Do me a fricking favor and pretend you’re surprised the next time someone tells you he’s gay. It’ll make him feel better.

I’m still not comfortable enough to talk openly about my sexuality at work. Clearly people already know I’m gay anyway, so it probably doesn’t matter one way or the other.

My co-worker disagrees. I told him I didn’t want to talk about it at work because I didn’t want people to be uncomfortable. His response to that comment: “Don’t you think it makes people a lot more uncomfortable when they have to tiptoe around the subject because you aren’t open about it?”

NOT WHEN I’M THE ONE WHO FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE!!! When I said I don’t want “people” to feel uncomfortable, I was talking about ME! Of course people at work are “comfortable” with this topic. That’s what corporate America and American culture have taught us to be – comfortable with uncomfortable things. Nonetheless, I can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable. (Or a lot uncomfortable.)

And I can’t help but think (and notice) that others are uncomfortable underneath their comfortableness.