Pretty or Personality
Last night I went out with a group of gay guys – including the guy from Folsom and his funny friend. We had a great time. Again, I was faced with the same dilemma as last time. One guy has the looks. The other guy has the personality. What do I do?
I honestly love hanging out with Personality. He and I share the same sense of humor, and we can joke and talk with ease. I just love thinking back to our conversations because I start laughing again -- often out loud. His humor is so classic.
Not only is his personality funny, but he's also smart and successful. He has a great education behind him, and he is currently working for a great company in a great position.
Because I’m psycho, I start to entertain the thought of spending my life with him. It would be great in so many respects. He's one of those people who makes you want to achieve more, push yourself a little harder, do something great/noble. I think we'd be a winning combo in that respect.
I also think he's a really genuine person who would stick with me during thick and thin. He makes fun of the foggy thing many gay men call "commitment." I just think he is really interested in having a meaningful, long-term relationship.
He invited me to stay at his house last night. All of these thoughts were on my mind as we were driving back to his place. I mean, I could date him and have a great time. I'd laugh a lot. I'd be driven to success. I'd have a loving, committed partner. So what if I'm not romantically tied to him. So what if I am not attracted to him physically. I'm sure I could make this work, and it makes sense. The least I could do is try things out ...
At this point, reality hits me like a ton of bricks!
I COULD HAVE THIS EXACT SAME THING WITH A WOMAN!!!!
I dropped him off at his house and then went and spent the night with Looks.
I honestly love hanging out with Personality. He and I share the same sense of humor, and we can joke and talk with ease. I just love thinking back to our conversations because I start laughing again -- often out loud. His humor is so classic.
Not only is his personality funny, but he's also smart and successful. He has a great education behind him, and he is currently working for a great company in a great position.
Because I’m psycho, I start to entertain the thought of spending my life with him. It would be great in so many respects. He's one of those people who makes you want to achieve more, push yourself a little harder, do something great/noble. I think we'd be a winning combo in that respect.
I also think he's a really genuine person who would stick with me during thick and thin. He makes fun of the foggy thing many gay men call "commitment." I just think he is really interested in having a meaningful, long-term relationship.
He invited me to stay at his house last night. All of these thoughts were on my mind as we were driving back to his place. I mean, I could date him and have a great time. I'd laugh a lot. I'd be driven to success. I'd have a loving, committed partner. So what if I'm not romantically tied to him. So what if I am not attracted to him physically. I'm sure I could make this work, and it makes sense. The least I could do is try things out ...
At this point, reality hits me like a ton of bricks!
I COULD HAVE THIS EXACT SAME THING WITH A WOMAN!!!!
I dropped him off at his house and then went and spent the night with Looks.
posted by Gay Mormon at 2:26 AM
8 Comments:
Looks fade with time. Personality tends to last forever.
The fact of not being attracted to a man doesn't make him the equivalent of a woman.
Of course, I say this as someone who doesn't consider himself terribly attractive, so take it for what it's worth.
I should clarify ... the guy I reference as "Personality" isn't ugly or unattractive. I'm just not attracted to him physically. Attraction is a fickle thing. I don't understand it.
In any case, the question remains: if I have to choose spending the rest of my life with a guy I'm not physically or romantically attracted to or a woman I'm not physically or romantically attracted to, assuming everything else is equal, whom do I choose?
I would choose the woman.
Let's just hope that I don't ever have to make that decision.
GM: Why can't Personality just be a special, one-of-a-kind, life-long friend?
By the way, within a small group of people, the ditching of one member of the group for another member of the group -- on the same night! -- is big-time fodder for queens' gossip.
Discretion and all, you know...
Well, thats a tough situation to consider. I don't think attraction is as black and white as we tend to make it out to be. I've thought the same thing about girls that not only were beautiful, but in whom I shared common interests... the marriage/relationship thoughts entered, but ultimately for me... Guys were where I felt the attraction. In the moment that the girl is gone I am quickly reminded that heterosexual relationships will likely never be part of my life. But thats just me.
-Cas
PS: Great blog. You can check mine out at: http://allofthisaroundus.blogspot.com/
I'm a straight female and I've fallen in love with guys that I didn't find sexually attractive at first. It developed over time. This would never develop with my female friends, no matter how close we became as friends. That's why I'm straight...
GM, I discovered your blog a few days ago and have been completely captivated by your life's story.
If I treat it like a book, I find it's is missing one chapter. The one with the flashback to when you first became gay.
You mentioned you were straight growing up and have referred to an "event" that placed you on the gay side of the fence.
I await your story!
I am baffled by your inability to see what defines attractive.
Having someone who can make you laugh out loud when they are not even in the room qualifies as an attractive quality. Look beyond what you've trained yourself to believe is attractive (ie Hollywood and fashion mags) and see outside the box.
As for being gay and comparing dating Personality to dating a woman... I ask you thiswho would ever believe someone could be gay AND Mormon!
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