Thursday, March 30, 2006

Tim, Welcome to Our Gay Blogging Family -- Home Away from Home!

Thank you for the entertainment everyone. The dialogue certainly has me laughing. I only laugh because my brother is totally misrepresenting himself! It’s amazing how differently a person can be portrayed in writing.

If you all met my brother, you would all love him! I’m not kidding. I know it’s hard to believe because his writing has been so passionate and adversarial. (He just wants to get a rise out of people – which he’s done quite successfully.) But I assure you he is much more tactful and pleasant in real life. He’s equally passionate about his perspective in real life – don’t get me wrong – but he’s more empathetic and compassionate.

Honestly, he’s only this argumentative and combative with close friends and family members. So logically we can assume that my brother actually considers you all family. See, he loves you – but he masks it. He’s all about keeping things secret.

My brother? A therapist? Ha! He’s a doc, alright, but definitely not of the psychological type. Good laugh. Can you imagine him counseling someone? Say a schizophrenic person? I think it would go something like this:

“You and all the voices in your head need to stop whining. Your voices all have obvious liberal biases, but I think I can help. Let me give you a copy of my most recent publication: ‘What Brother Tim Thinks the Schizophrenic Religion Should Do to Become More Mainstream and Accepted.’ Read that, and the voices will go away.”

Bless my brother’s heart. He really is great. As I mentioned before, I am beyond lucky to have such caring siblings. He talks a mean game, but he’s very soft on the inside. He’ll love me forever – despite the choices I make – and he would even be the first to welcome a boyfriend of mine into the family.

Speaking of boyfriends, the other doc (which is now very confusing to say because my brother mentioned that he considers himself a doctor) and I hung out tonight. We had a nice relaxing evening. We also had a great weekend skiing. We’ve been having a lot of great times together. He’s a fantastic guy.

However, I didn’t realize how addicted I am to being single, so this is an adjustment for me – a sometimes difficult one at that. I'm just not used to answering to people. I’m not used to sacrificing for others. I’ve always just done my own thing. Heck, I’m realizing how selfish of a person I really am. I didn’t even think to ask what he wanted to watch on TV tonight. I just tuned it to the show I like and assumed he would like it too. He didn’t. Ha!

I remember reading on another gay Mormon’s blog that he felt like an infant when it came to relationships because he had never had them. That’s how I feel. I feel relationshiply underdeveloped. Because of that -- and other things -- I have considered jumping ship at least a hundred times so far. I do this whenever I find a mild flaw, whenever I feel mildly uncomfortable, or whenever I think of how much money I’ve spent since meeting him. Of course, I realize that I am being retarded and that I am just too used to my independence. So I stay the course.

Anyhow, things are going well between him and me. Considering the mandatory separation in June, I don’t know that our relationship will last all that long. Nonetheless, I’m enjoying my time with him for the moment. I hope to have -- at the very least -- a long-term friend. I’m so lucky to have someone who is so patient with me. He’s been completely supportive of cooling things down (tonight we just kissed – no hanky panky). I feel very lucky to have found such a great guy.

Maybe he and I will have to take Chip up on his offer for free tickets to a show in NY! Who knew this blog would ever pay off in a monetary sense? ;)


Blogger Elbow said...

I for one am very glad that you and your brother have a great relationship. Like I said before, he is very present, and it appears that he will never abandon you. You are a lucky guy.

And as for him, I realy wish he would start his own blog. I like his ability to get a rise out of people, I think it would stand for good blogging entertainment.

I'm also glad that thinks are going well with the Doc. I'm happy for you, and find it interesting that you are having such problems with independance, and juggling the new relationship with the things that you are use to doing without a significant other. I have found that most of my gay male friends who start dating after awhile of being single go through the same things you expressed.

And as for New York, if you are ever going to take Chip up on his offer, or if you are simply in New York for the heck of it, please call me and we'll get together if only for a second.

Have a great day, I'm happy for you.

5:44 AM  
Blogger -L- said...

...or whenever I think of how much money I’ve spent since meeting him

So, I was reading along thinking, yeah, I've had a hard time with relationships in that way too. Until the comment about money. Ha! Maybe that's why nobody ever went any further with me--there's more than Tuesday nights at Movies 8?

GM, I was all proud of my blog for getting comments numbering in the TEENS. Can you believe it? Of course most of the comments are from me because I have absolutely no restraint in commenting on my own posts! But yours... now THIS is a blog! Give my regards to Tim, a person I am positive I would enjoy knowing.

7:06 AM  
Blogger wendy said...

Elbow is in NY???? So is Wendy!

8:23 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

So is hurricane!

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Your attitude is outstanding and will go a long way in helping your family understand and eventually (hopefully) accept you for everything that you are, including your sexual orientation.

I am no longer a practicing member of the Church, but I fully understand what its like to share a strong bond and love with family members who are completely dedicated to the Church. Likewise, I understand what its like to have strong philosophical disagreements with these family members. All things considered, our relationships are much stronger and more important than those disagreements. I sense the same between you and your brother.

Speaking of Tim, his repeated employment of the "name-calling" technique (which he loves to criticize so much) culminated into quite an ad hominem fest in his most recent comment (to GM's immediately preceding post). Within a single paragraph, Tim called some of us "fragile," "offended," "upset," and "angry," and he implied that we lack "self-esteem." If Tim is doing this intentionally for the sake of irony, then it's pretty funny. If its not intentional, then its even funnier (and of course, more ironic).


9:03 AM  
Anonymous Chip Deffaa said...

Hey, Gay Mormon, this is Chip again. Yeah, if you can get to NYC in the next 6 weeks, I'll not only comp you and the doctor you're dating into the show I've written/directed whuch is running now off-Broadway, "George M. Cohan Tonight'" (, I'd be happy to have you guys crash at my place. There's always room, if a visit to the New York area fits your plans. I'm in great spirits. My best friend from junior high came to see my play--and it turns out he is gay, and knew it back then but was too shy to say anything. And an old gorlfriend of mine came vto see the play, and it turns out her wonderful brother is likewise gay. Again, none of us knew about each other back in junior-senior high. Life is fuill of surprises. i'm just glad to get to know my friends better now.

7:07 PM  
Anonymous Orson said...

Dear GM: Just a few thoughts. First, what you're going through--moving two steps forward towards intimacy, then taking one step back to pricess, then two steps forward again--is typical for people beginning to date (regardless of sexul orientation). You'll figure out when you're ready for/comfortable with more "hanky panky." It's cool. Second, you mentioned dating is expensive. It need not be. Use your imagination. It's more about who you're with than what you do, and a walk in the woods (which cost NOTHING) can do more to foster romance (if you let yourself be open to the possibilities) than a fancy restaurant.... I enjoy what you write, and it's sweet of you to defend your brother, though I don't think I'd like him if I met him--too needlessly abrasive, confrontational, insistent that only he could be correct, for my tastes. And we've heard all of his tiresome, boring claptrap so many times before, and see through it so clearly, it's not worth wasting breath t correct it. If he can't figure this stuff out for himself, let him wallow in his bigotry. your life seems to be going well. I think the doctor you're dating is lucky to have met such a sweet, warm, and funny guy.

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Brother Tim said...

Finally some sympathy.....No surprise that it came from my own brother. I knew you would be laughing pretty hard at most of my posts, because you knew me all too well.

I'm flattered by your comments, I think you were too kind. Some of your irrate readers were probably more accurate.

Do you think I offended anyone on this spot? It's hard to layoff the pedantic tirades, you know. I have too much fun toying with the easily offended and with the whine and cheese crowd....I still might do my Top Ten List (it would actually work! I'm telling you!)

In many of my arguments I left myself (intentionally) wide open for intellectual attacks of logic, but only 2 of your readers actually pointed out my scientific methodological errors (my Castro suicide comment alone contained problems of heresay, anecdotal evidence, selection bias, non-representative sample, confounding bias, etc).

Anyway, are you coming over for dinner on Sunday? Not my place but the in-laws? Take a break from your gay life and come hang out with us heteros this Sunday. We'll be there at 12 noon, dinner to follow.

See you there....

PS -- I started a blog ""

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice one Tim. After having been confronted (perhaps unexpectedly) by some rather intelligent and reasonable responses to your comments, including some that highlighted your own argument flaws, you resort to the "I meant to do that" defense. Hell, does this guy ever admit his mistakes GM? It must be quite a chore engaging him in an argument.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous K. C. Broadbent said...

Dear GM: I love your attitude, and your spirit. And I have a hunch that is part of what is attracting the doctor you're dating to you. Your brother too often tries to bait people or put them down, for my tastes. He complins that we didn't choose to respond to his arguments, or really engage him in a debate. Speaking for myself, it didn't seem worth the time or effort; his arguments were so substandard, it didn't make sense to try to rebut them. And honestly, we've heard these arguments SO many times. Some of us, in our uninformed youths, used to repeat all this clattertrap ourselves; on the FAIR board, you can hear TBMs say all the things your brother has said, over andover. Most of us who post there don't rebut them, because it would be pointless--any more than we'd argue with some racist who tried to engage us in an argument on why he believes blacks are inferior. Some people are beneath arguing with. If your brother doesn't see the prejudice gay people face in many areas, we can't teach him. If he doesn't grasp the essential truth that some gay couples live quite happily, ethically, productively--abd you couldf be in their number someday--n one can teach him. If people choose to be blind, that's their choice. But GM, your tone of voice seems a lot happier than your brother's (who likes to whine about how others are supposedlyu whiny). Why he is so worked up over your love life is beyond me. But it's nice to see you remember hse life it is. More power to you and the doctor you've been seeing. That's really cool that you two are finding each other. (And what are you saying?! That in a relationship, BOTH partners should have some say in who watches what TV shows?!? Tell that to my Dad, who has ALWAYS controlled the TV clcker, while Mom and the rest of the family would sinlently assent. I grew up thinking that was a father's privelege--though I never actuall found that specified anywhere in the D & C.)

11:13 PM  
Anonymous brother Tim said...

Anonymous & KC Broadbent....

You guys are still upset (if in fact you are guys--no I'm not challenging your manhood--some of you may be women). You must really be fun to be around, taking offense on all sides, padding your circle of influence with yup-yups, and generally avoiding any scholarly two-sided debate of the issues.

And KC Broadbent, for a guy that didn't take the time to engage me in argument (or debate as gentlemen call it) you sure made a lot of comments over the past few days....whew! I would hate to see what you really do when you get fired up.

You guys (I am not referring to gay people on this one) are the ones that live in a narrow minded world apart from reality. You cannot accept the fact that I have my opinion per my right as granted from God, and that it differs from yours. Do I think that gay people are bad? Evil? Horrible? Second class citizens? Satanic? Come on, get serious for a second.....

But I have a strong and unambiguous moral opinion against gay sex. Would I deprive you of the right to choose to live as you may and act as you do (including the sex part)? Never! But I will never condone the action, all the while I treat all persons as Christlke as I can (something any honest person would admit they are trying to do, but certainly far from perfect in doing).

good night....

11:44 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

G.M., I'm glad you're rolling with the punches so well. And are keeping this blog on course, despite your brother's best efforts to sidetrack it. Your brother's mean streak, and tendency to think in stereotypes (even his references to a supposed "whine and cheese crowd")didn't appeal to me. I'd rather hear what's new with you and help--if I can--than get into a pissing contest with your brother.

1:49 AM  
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1:44 PM  

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